A Realistic Guide for Young Women With Breast Cancer
The holidays are often painted as a serene season of joy, cozy comforts and togetherness. But for a growing number of young women navigating breast cancer, this time can feel anything but magical. The weight of treatment, the pressure to “keep up,” and that feeling left out can all hit at once.
It’s not easy.
If that’s where you are right now, know this: You are not alone.
You deserve a season that makes space for healing and, if you’re up for it, celebration. This guide is from the team at TBBC — women who’ve been where you are, who get it and who believe that thriving includes doing a little less when you need to.
Your Holiday, Your Pace: Only Do What You Want to Do
Exhaustion. Confusion. Finances.
When you’re navigating treatment or recovery, these issues can feel magnified. That’s why the most powerful thing you can do this season might just be to say no.
You have our full permission to opt out, scale back or totally redefine what celebration looks like for you! Want to skip the big gathering and stay in cozy clothes with your favorite takeout? Do it. Want to show up for tradition because it fills your cup? That’s beautiful, too.
If family or friends push back, hold your boundary with kindness and clarity. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation. “This is what I need this year” is enough.
Talking to Kids About Your Diagnosis
This can be one of the hardest parts of the season, especially if curious little ones will be around. It’s okay not to have the perfect script. Every child, every family dynamic and every comfort level is different.
Talk with other parents or caregivers ahead of time to get aligned. You can use the moment to teach empathy and resilience. Or you can keep things simple. “Aunt Bess is still healing, but the medicine is helping” can be more than enough.
Energy Management: As If Holidays Weren’t Exhausting Enough Already
Holiday stress hits differently when you’re dealing with treatment, fatigue or chronic side effects.
But remember: Rest is a ritual. Energy is a resource.
5 Steps: Creating Your Personal “Energy Budget”
- Start with Your “Best Day” as 100%: Think of a recent day when you felt your best. Not superhuman, just steady and functional. That’s your full energy tank. That’s your baseline. Every other day can be measured in relation to that.
- Assess Assign “Tough Day” Baselines: On rougher days (like post-infusion, poor sleep or emotional stress), you might wake up with just 60% in the tank. We know that exact feeling. Start each day by honestly rating your available energy.
- List What Drains You Most: What consistently zaps your energy? (Big social events? Cold weather? Long phone calls?) Write those down and give them “point values.” Maybe errands are 20%, a doctor’s appointment is 30%, etc.
- Spend Mindfully, Save Where You Can: Once you’ve mapped your day, notice when you’re nearing your energy limit. If your tank’s at 70% and the day demands 90%, something has to give so you can respect your time, energy and well-being. Cancel, adjust, delegate or delay. It’s totally OK!
- Build In Recharge Time: Sometimes taking time for ourselves can allow us to do more with our day later. Whether it’s a nap, music, a short walk, or just silence, schedule energy “deposits” into your day to keep from going into the red.
A Few Additional & Practical Ways to Protect Your Energy:
- Stay hydrated; it can be easy to forget this, so set reminders if needed. (Oh, & some of those liquid IV hydration packets are actually kind of good!)
- Say yes to shorter visits or a good old-fashioned phone call
- Build buffer time around any events or appointments, & then add 30 minutes more to that buffer time
- Give yourself a full day off after major activities, if possible & whenever possible
Keep The Small Comforts Close By
Sometimes, it’s the tiniest things that make the biggest difference. Keep these on hand:
- Snacks or mints to help with nausea
- Layers to manage hot flashes or chills
- Short breaks to stretch, breathe, or simply escape the noise
- A TBBC Chemo Care Kit with cozy, carefully curated essentials
Mental Health Matters More Than Ever
The emotional weight of the season can be heavy. Grief, comparison or isolation can creep into your life. You might feel left out of holiday traditions, or like you’re watching the world from the sidelines.
Totally valid, and completely commonplace.
Try grounding practices like journaling, breath-work and (as you’ll hear us say a lot) talking to a therapist that specializes in working with breast cancer patients. Even a few quiet minutes to center yourself can be powerful.
TBBC Also Offers Peer-Led Virtual Groups
A safe space is available and the support is on standby!
Finances & Gift-Giving: Compassion Over Consumption
It’s no secret: breast cancer is expensive. Add gift-giving, travel or time off work, and the costs stack fast. That’s why it’s okay (encouraged, even) to skip the store-bought gifts this year.
Handwritten letters or small, sentimental trips down memory lane go a long way.
“A gift that takes some personal creativity or even just an hour-long conversation can mean so much more than something hastily bought off Amazon! I learned that during my journey & I’ve continued it ever since.”
-Bess Hagans
TBBC’s Financial Relief Program
And if you need help, we invite you to apply to our stipend program — because support should never be out of reach.
For Supporters: How to Show Up With Heart & Tact
If you’re a loved one reading this, thank you! You matter more than you know. Just one reminder: don’t say “Let me know how I can help.” It sounds supportive, but it puts the pressure back on your loved one.
It Helps To Be Specific & Direct:
- “Can I take the kids Friday night?”
- “Want me to handle grocery pickup?”
- “Would it help if I sat with you during that appointment?”
Little things make a big difference. Oil changes without asking, rides, meals and even little distractions. Functional, thoughtful gifts are great too. And if your loved one finds that humor helps? We’ve got you covered.
Give Yourself the Gift of Grace!
There’s no “right” way to do the holidays while healing.
Whether this is your first season post-diagnosis or your fifth navigating reconstruction, you’re showing up as you are and that? That is doing enough. That’s doing the damn-near impossible & we applaud you for it! We hope this guide helps you find some peace, set a few boundaries and lean into the support you deserve.
You are seen. You are supported. You are not alone.
About The Author
Bess Hagans is the CEO and co-founder of Thriving Beyond Breast Cancer. As a breast cancer survivor, she has experienced multiple holiday seasons both as a patient and as a supporter. She and the entire TBBC team are passionate about helping women thrive beyond diagnosis — through financial support, mental health care and the very real stories that remind us we’re in this together.
